Finalmente…

Finally, because this is a long overdue catch-up and finally, because I am nearing the end of my trip. When I think about my first 18 days in this country, I feel like it lasted so long. 18 days is more than most people get to spend visiting any given country, 3 weeks is normal vacation time. But now that I only have 18 days left in this country, I’m starting to feel closterphobic, anxious, and worried about the end being so near.

But, I guess I may be just as much worried about the end, as I am about the beginning. I’ve had a wonderful time here, I really couldn’t ask for more, and that’s probably why I’m forcing myself to feel like it is unreasonable to ask for more time here. But I simply have absolutely no idea how this whole “going-back-to-life-as-normal” deal is even going to be possible. And I don’t even know if it is going to be possible to explain to others why it’s so impossible.

I’ve been trying to enjoy my last bit of time here, not consumed by all the class work I’ve been doing, which so far has worked pretty well. But there’s this other externality of this strategy, which is allowing me to be so happy not being consumed, and consuming- and I’m not sure how its going to be going back to consumption, in all its forms. So maybe I should remind myself? No.

I’ve done some preventative meditation on this in many of the amazing places I’ve been in the past two seasons, so that I can hopefully go back to some of these physical, mental and emotional spots when I’m in that state of mind that used to be so comfortable and functionable for me before and now seems so foreign, scary and undoable.

Let me, for a brief and not-doing-it-justice moment, explain a bit about my time in one of these places- the Galapagos Islands. In a nutshell, or rather a crustacean shell: my class snorkeled at least once a day. We were up close and personal with sea lions, turtles, penguins, marine iguanas, flamingos, sharks, and amazing birds, just to name a few. We traveled around by bike, truck-bed, boats and flippers to ecosystems that changed drastically nearly every ten minutes. We had a guide whose family had lived there since the 1930s, and who arranged lobster dinners for us at his restaurant and let us use his kayaks, snorkel equipment and bikes at our leisure. But there was so much more than this laundry list of paradise. A culture. A society. Social injustice. History. Need, and not just for conservation. Tourism. Potential.

Huge amounts of money are pumped into these islands through tourism and for conservation, and while there are crazy archipelagic ecosystems, amazing endemic species, and far too many introduced species threatening this phenomenon, there are also the people that make sharing it with the world possible. There are also their needs. While there are extremely limited food and water resources, rampant waste and contamination, and importation up the yin yang, there is also the development that allows for improved schools, access to health care and a steady income in a rural area.
So what is the balance?

Fortunately, I was pleasantly surprised to not see tour agencies on every corner and hotels lining the beaches. I was happy to go for a late night bike ride and stop to watch local high school students practicing traditional dances, for a school project. I was happy to live in (not just visit) the islands for a few days. And I will be happy to go back and actually live there at some point (very soon) in my life, because that will happen someday. Never have I felt so at home someplace so quickly as I did in the Galapagos, and I think part of the reason, is not just because they are beautiful- I’ve been to lots of beautiful places, but I think its because I care so much. I care about not letting them become Costa Rica, but not be exploited. I care about the people not being illiterate or having AIDS, but enjoying the benefits of sharing their home with the world. So what is this balance of development, because development will continure, and is a balance possible? I think so, ask me about the last 30 pages I’ve just written if you find it as interesting as I do.

As a tourist, I saw many beautiful things. As a foreign resident of Ecuador, I saw many things that need improving. And as a dreamer, I saw myself not getting on that plane to come back to Quito. But I did, and here I am listening to the sounds of “Fiestas de Quito” outside my window, and my family cheering for our team to win the South American Cup, outside my door. Here I am reflecting, as an okay middle ground to writing my paper and spending time with my Ecuadorian friends and family. Here I am, the most lost I have ever been as to how my life will be after the next 18 days. And here I am, okay with it, because the last ten sets of 18 days have been absolutely perfect. Here I am, finalmente.